All's Fair

by E. Awai

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E. Awai's debut album is an emotional journey through life's watershed moments, featuring soulful vocals harmonies, intricate piano melodies and soaring, cinematic string instrumentals.

credits

released April 15, 2018

Music and lyrics by Erica Fortuné Awai, E. Awai Music Production ©℗2018. String recording sessions engineered by Lincoln Andrews at SAE Expression College in Emeryville, CA. Mastered by Piper Payne at Neato Mastering in Oakland, CA. Album art by Travis Weaver.

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Track Name: Love and War
We keep our problems on the shelf
Too scared to say what’s true
I fear that I’ll be catching hell
Aor keeping secrets to my self
A selfish thing to do

My thoughts fall heavy on my head
I don’t know what to say
Raise my hands you caught me red
I’m lying where I made my bed
Too bruised to walk away


And I am asking you to try
To believe me when I lie


Tell me what we’re fighting for
Give an inch I’ll take a score
They say all’s fair in love and war
Tell me what we’re fighting for


Emotion is a bitter pill
That’s roiling in my gut

I tell you it might hurt and still
You let me move in for the kill
I almost take the shot

You say that we can talk it out
I really hope that’s true

Every word is sick with doubt
We’re wounded and we’re bleeding out
I want to save us too


But if I drop when you say when
will you break my fall again

Won’t you tell me what we’re fighting for
Give an inch I’ll take a score
They say all’s fair in love and war
Tell me what we’re fighting for


We scream ourselves out of our minds
It doesn’t make a sound
Good intentions undermined
We overwrite and press rewind
And circle back around

I know it’s not my place to say
Would you stay here anyway - hey
Honey would you stay with me, stay


Tell me what we’re fighting for
Give an inch I’ll take a score
I want back what we had before
And nothing scares me anymore
They say all’s fair in

Love and war
Track Name: One Bad Habit
I’ve got a big ambition
You know how to get things done
We’re gonna have lots of fun
Don’t stop don’t think just come

I know it's a hard decision
Don’t know if I’m worth your while
Not sure if you like my style
just call me for a free trial

I’ve got one bad habit
Don’t know how to fight it
Take or leave me

I’ve got one bad habit
I’m not gonna hide it
Take or leave me leave me

I swear the job is easy
As long as we don’t get caught
Be ready to play your part
I’ll get the party started

Don’t follow too far behind me
I think it’ll all work out
But be ready to be bail me out
In case it goes south

I’ve got one bad habit
Don’t know how to fight it (don’t know how to fight)
One bad habit
I’m not gonna hide it (I’m not gonna hide
Take or leave me, leave me, leave me

And we won’t go down
Just take my hand — I’ll lead you out
No, we won’t go down
Just take my hand — I’ll lead you
Just take my hand — I’ll lead you out

I’ve got one bad habit
Don’t know how to fight it
Take or (take or) leave me
Track Name: The Story
I can find a path out of this shadow
I don’t need a riding hood
If I get the story right
If I get the story right
I can make the ending turn out better
Wrap my arms around you like a lover
Follow every moral by the letter
that will keep me safe and sound

And I believe that I could heal your broken heart (your broken heart)

I will be the prize inside your tower
Better than Rapunzel could
And if I get the story right
If I get the story right
I won’t ever leave for any reason
Keep me like a secret if it’s pleasing
I will be here season after season
Anything you ask my love

And I believe that I could heal your broken heart (your broken heart)

I don’t need to kiss a handsome prince
I know you are the perfect frog
And if I get the story right
If I get the story right
I can make believe that you still love me
I can take a hit, my fault, forgive me
We can make it work; we’ll be so happy
One day when the story’s done

The story is never done
You said that last time was the last time
And forgiveness is a rose inside a vase waiting to die
And Lord I don’t know how long I can live inside a lie

I dreamed that I could heal your broken heart
They say that beauty saved the beast
But I think she died trying
Yes, I think she died
Died trying

I know what a prison doorway looks like
Better than Scheherazade
But if I get the story right
If I get the story right
Maybe you are better than the worst thing
You have ever done - I guess that’s something
Take me if you want; I’ll keep on giving
All I need is hope my love
Track Name: Typhoid Mary
Let me tell you what I am become
Typhoid Mary they call me, Typhoid Mary
We both know I’m not the chosen one
But if you want me this time I’ll let you have me

Got a pocket full of posies and I’m waiting with open arms
For you all, all, all to fall, fall, fall
Fall

And I don’t know what my left hand does when the right’s tied down
Watch your back dear
You might lose your head here
I wear violence like an evening gown
You an hide behind your shadow but you can’t outrun my arrow

I arrive without a sound
But when my footprint breaks the ground
They come around, they come around
Got my watchman standing by
He holds the line, I hold the lie
And all good pilgrims pay the levy
Bear me up ‘cause I’m so heavy, I’m so heavy

Let me tell you what I am become
Typhoid Mary they call me, Typhoid Mary
Hanging on you like a bad luck charm
But you’re so crazy you think that you can save me

Got a pocket full of posies and I’m waiting (waiting, waiting)
Typhoid Mary they call me, Typhoid Mary
Got a pocket full of posies and I’m waiting (waiting, waiting)
For you all, all, all to fall (to fall)
For you all, all, all to fall, fall, fall
Track Name: Theory of Disillusion
I know I took your name in vain
Fist in my gut and twisting, and twisting
I lost the word and I’m begging
I’m begging you to say it
Just say it

I wish the truth had been a lie
We said we’d fight for love
I fought and it died
God I wish I hadn’t noticed the pattern
The flash before the thunder
That tore us both asunder

They say
They say that even rivers dry up

I thought believing brought peace
That getting answers made under standing easy
And I would find us a moral at the end
But we were just a statistic
Too broken up to fix it

You say I just need some faith
Is your evidence forensic or just hearsay?
You made a promise I’m waiting for conviction
I’m sick with indecision
Losing my religion

They say
They say that even rivers dry up

I’ve crossed my hands at my back
Keeping your secrets hoarded like a packrat
And I’m afraid I’ll face judgement for pretending
This act of contrition
We lie by omission

So lay my truth here to rest
I wrote enough to show how much I’ve invested
I swear that cruelty was never my intent
If I sound a little hostile
Don’t take my word as gospel

They say
They say that even rivers dry up
And the flutter of a wing can change the weather
And a thousand years of stone on stone
And a kingdom falls on a horseshoe nail
And I laughed (and I laughed)
In the face of God and You
Said nothing back

I know I took you name in vain
Fist in my gut and twisting, and twisting
I lost the word and I’m begging
I’m begging you to save it
Track Name: Fine Print
They don’t tell you the truth, no
You have to choose the lesser of two evils
I’ll translate it for you, though
It’s easy to see that it’s a no win situation
They say stick to your station
Please learn not to listen

Leave off or come on

You can keep on asking why or when or how
Write it off, calm down, I’ll take the blame for now
Sign a dotted line, don’t read the fine print
I’d cross a line to get out of this box we’re both in

I won’t try to advise you
To do as I say but not as I do
You know I like to crack wise too
I thought we’d hold our breath from here to the Do the work and then vanish
No good deed goes unpunished

I’m just wondering how long

You can keep on asking why or when or how
Write it off, calm down, I’ll take the blame for now
Sign a dotted line, don’t read the fine print
I’d cross a line to get out of this box we’re both in

But is my word good enough? x 2

They don’t tell you the truth, no
You have to choose
You have to choose the lesser of two evils
Track Name: On The Inside
I am cocking the gun
I’m not the only one here
With a hard-on for violence
But it’s all in good fun
If I seem quiet and shy
I’m still a killer on the inside
I’m still a killer on the inside

You say too much is never enough
You get around so much
You’d break a world record bringing me off
Let haters say we’re way too demanding
When the world’s on its knees we’ll be standing, yeah

They are starting a war
I hear that it’s gonna rain
And you know how it goes
First it rains, then it pours
So get your foot in the door
I hear it's warmer on the inside
It's always warmer on the inside

I swear my word was never in doubt
I get around so much
I’ve got a red letter calling me out
Let haters say we’re way too demanding
When the world’s on its knees we’ll be standing, yeah

Put the light on
And leave your shame in the bathroom
With your birthday suit
Cause the fight’s on
And you know it’s true
I don’t pull my punches for anyone but you

Are you ready to go?
They say life on the lam
Is as nice as the weather
And it’s starting to blow
But I’m as calm as an eye
I’m only screaming on the inside x3
Track Name: Monsters
My mother and I stand side by side
I’m scared and she swears that the monsters won’t get me
But shadows still feed all my fears as they linger

And today is the very first day of school
And on top of the blackboard the golden rule

And people start out with such fragile skin
You’d never know what it’s holding in.
Don’t tell me
I can’t stand the truth and I’m crumbling


My sister and I stand side by side
A fight for affection that everyone’s losing
The home is unkind and the world is no kinder

I tell her that she just remembers wrong
But the truth is it was my fault all along

And hope is the burden that we carry
The tale that I'm telling is cautionary
Don’t touch me
I can’t heal the wound while the knife is in


My daughter and I stand side by side
Both caring as much as we can without listening
The blind lead the blind and the chasm grows wider

I cannot breathe life into anything
Baby bird learns to fall down instead of sing
And I thought I’d be
The exception
I paved all the roadways with good intentions

Don’t trust me
I can’t fight the monsters I'm one of them

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